Change! What is it good for?


Wow, hi everyone! Long time no update!


So, its been forever since I’ve posted anything personal. I think it’s going to take awhile to get used to having a place where I put my thoughts down for the world to read, but there is so much going on right now, that I felt like maybe today was a good day to start sharing!

I’ve worked a full time office job for eons, and when you’ve spent most of your adult life  working for others, sitting at a desk, staring at a computer, you get used to things being a certain way. It’s 9-5, business casual, doing what needs to be done efficiently, but quietly seething at how inefficient everything truly feels, its a regular paycheck and it comes with benefits. It’s not what I would call awesome, but it pays the bills and it becomes very comfortable. The daily routine is safe and easy. Making the leap from what I know to the complete unknown is terrifying, intimidating, sometimes sad, but also exhilarating, surprising and rewarding!


I’m down to two days a week at the office, part time through the end of October, it’s been a nice transition but I only have 9 more days of this and than I’m done. No regular paychecks left. I guess the real judge as to where I’m at on the terrified scale starts soon. Than what? What the heck am I doing? Where do I start? How do I run my own business anyway? How do I find work? What are my goals? Believe me when I tell you, there are a million questions to ask yourself, and coming up with the answers is not as easy as asking the questions!


This is how we get to the subject of today’s post. Change. What is it good for?


I woke up this morning, put on my yoga pants (which by the way are WAY more comfortable than work pants!), and had a really phenomenal home practice! After wards I felt joy! My muscles were happy! My brain was clear and ready for a challenge. I had a cup of coffee while I worked on a class that I’ll teach to my students tomorrow! When I sat down at the computer this afternoon, I realized that I was doing this for me. That complacent 9-5 mentality is slowly starting to dissolve. Not knowing exactly where I might be next week or next month or next year, is something I actually want to hold onto for a bit. CHANGE IS AMAZING!


Two weeks ago I attended a Business of Yoga workshop, which I think I really needed! It got me started on the vast and often overwhelming step of setting goals. It opened my eyes to some of what I need to consider for running my own business. The instructor was there, almost like a therapist, listening to our fears and helping to problem solve. It helped to sit in a room with others who all had similar concerns about where to start and how to be successful. That was my first real moment of clarity. I suddenly had some tools to help me through this.


Jobs are starting to pop up. I had my first real interview for a yoga job last week. It was so much easier than I remember other interviews being. I felt confident talking about myself, my experiences, and my love for this career. This week I had a little “audition” for that same place,  I couldn’t sleep the night before, because apparently, that’s what I do when I’m nervous now. Yay me! But…despite my nerves, I was able to teach a class of strangers who were extremely friendly and receptive and honestly, it just felt natural!


Last year at this time, I was two months into my yoga teacher training program, standing in front of a class, being the center of attention and trying to competently instruct with a serious case of dry mouth and a stomach in knots. I questioned whether this was right for me than, I questioned if I was ever going to be able to get past that stage and make this a career. As time grew closer to leaving my comfortable job with its adequate pay, I questioned it again…But here I am. I love teaching. I love being able to help people feel better. I love that it makes me feel better about myself. And THAT is why change is a good thing!


Because being afraid to make a change, and doing it anyway makes you feel good and because if you never try, you’ll never know how absolutely incredibly it can feel!


“Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.”
― Pauline R Kezer

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